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Showing posts with label gardening. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gardening. Show all posts

Monday, April 30, 2018

Why pray? thoughts for the fifth Sunday of Easter


“If you remain in Me and
My words remain in you,
ask for whatever you want
and it will be done for you.”
–John 15:7

 Is it true?  This passage from John; is it true? If you think about it for any length of time, do you think: Yes. It is confirmed in my own experience. When I pray, I do get what I want! Or, are you like me.  How often have I prayed for strength, for peace, for help, for healing and yet still felt alone, weak, and broken?  How many innocent children have prayed sincerely and desperately for help yet never received it? Or the addict who prayed for help, for courage, even for a cure, but finds himself slipping back into drink, or drug, or self-destructive habit.  Or the parent who prayed for the suffering child? Isn’t even one, proof enough[1]? How many do we have to list to disprove this statement?
And so, I ask myself: Why pray? Why do you pray? Why do I pray? Why should we bother?
“…ask for whatever you want
and it will be done for you.”
            If it isn’t true, then it certainly makes me wonder: isn’t it evidence against itself? Evidence that either the scriptures or the Lord cannot be trusted?   Who can believe a word this “man” says?   
            Certainly, after any number of apparently unanswered prayers, one can understand why a person, even a Christian, would stop praying.  It ends up seeming like nothing more than “magical thinking,” as some atheists have called it.  And how often do we hear people say: Our thoughts and prayers are with you?  As if prayer were just a kind of thinking, equal to daydreaming or wishing or hoping for something.  Is it?  Are they the same?  Or is there more to this question of pray than meets the eye?
            If the Bible is the Word of God, and if –as Christian maintain—it is unerring, then what does it mean, what does Jesus mean when He says: “…ask for whatever you want, and it will be done for you?” So bold a statement, and one so easily disproved… what does it mean? And this isn’t just a weird promise found in John (cf. 14:13; 16:24). It also shows up in Matthew 21:22, and Mark 11:24, as well as passages in all 4 gospels that could easily be interpreted as promising the same (cf. Mt. 7:7; Lk 11:8-10).  Apparently, it was really part of the teachings of our Lord. And if we are supposed to believe it, then what is Jesus really saying? Why is Jesus so bold in His promises about the power of prayer and particularly prayer in His name?
            I can honestly say this: the vast majority of times when I have prayed for help or guidance or strength or will power or courage (this isn’t asking for a new electric football set, or a ninth inning homerun for Jimmy Wynne), I can honestly say that even after invoking the name of the Lord, at the minimum 99.9% of the time I feel no immediate consolation, no more hope or strength or courage or will-power --sometimes I even feel discouraged because nothing changed, nothing miraculous happened. 
            So, why do I continue to pray?
            Because prayer --for me—anymore—isn’t about getting what I ask for, it’s about getting what I need (which is almost always: less of myself).  I have come to believe that prayer isn’t even about getting, but about giving. I give myself to God; put myself in His hands, submit myself to His will; and in doing so, conform myself more to the body of Christ.
            If prayer is really only about getting what we want, and what we want is a new job, new car, easier life, healthier body, win the lottery, then perhaps it really is just magical thinking. Seen in that way God becomes a kind of magical or spiritual vending machine.  I put in my coin (my prayer) and turn the knob (cross myself and mention Jesus name), and out comes a healed wife, a happier child, a more obedient cat, or my name atop the Nobel Prize list[2]. 
But, in my life, that isn’t how prayer works –and not how God seems to work, either.  In my life, prayer changes me more than it changes God.  I have come to think of it like planting a garden; those first desperate pleas and prayers are seeds planted in the dark silent earth –the cold of the grave, one might say—but as with a garden, with time, with some attention and care and nurturing, even some neglect (perhaps most of all this)—little by little tendrils green begin to appear, a tender leaf unfolds, new life appears, and without realizing it suddenly one morning flowers are blooming.
This is why I keep praying –not to plant a seed in God, but that God might plant a seed in me. So, prayer is my way of turning the earth, preparing the soil, stirring in some compost. Ask any serious gardener --pulling weeds is a constant effort.
Instead of thinking of prayer as a vending machine, think of it as gardening; as the original “slow” movement. It’s the original alternative life style.
I’m struck by that image in Genesis: walking in the garden with the Lord in the cool of the evening…
And it was good…
That’s why I pray.  To find a piece of that – a peace like that—growing in the soil of my being. That, like the soil in that original garden, the soil we were first formed from, my soil, my being, might bring forth much life. 
That doesn’t mean I don’t pray for what I need, what I want, what I hope for.  I still get on my knees and bring it all to God. Every bit of it. The selfish and the selfless, The mundane and the miraculous, I still ask for it.  I give it all to Him.  It just means I can’t measure the results in a bank book or on a tally sheet.  In fact, I’m not sure I can measure them at all. What I can do, is watch for stirrings of green.  Signs of new life.  And celebrate each and every one.

Dear Lord,
You took a vine out of Egypt,
planted it, cleared the ground,
it took root and spread…
Give me the patience, Oh Lord
to wait for the precious fruit
of that vine, and the courage
to continue to pray, and to wait
like the farmer for the early and the late rains…
And let me walk beside You always
in the cool of the evening, in Your fruitful garden…

           


[1] I won’t mention the unsuccessful poet who prays for a poem to be accepted by the New Yorker or the beleaguered football fan who prays for the Oilers to go to the Super Bowl or the struggling student about to take a test…
[2] Or Bum Philips stays in Houston and Earl Campbell wins the Nobel Prize for football.