Which son are you?

The Ways of the Lord Are Not Fair

Matthew 21: 28-32

 “What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son,
go and work today in the vineyard.’ “‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed
his mind and went. “Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He
answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go. “Which of the two did what his father wanted?”
“The first,” they answered. Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the
prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you to
show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors
and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.

 (The mass reading for this past Tuesday (Dec 13) has always troubled me.  I think my problem is, I take the Bible very personally.  I think God really is speaking to us (to all of us) through His word and I find it sometimes very challenging and very troubling (and very personal).  For instance, here I see myself in both of these brothers.  And so, here are a few thoughts on the Gospel. I prepared them for a homiletic class I was taking.  Let me know what you think.)

The ways of the Lord are not fair…

There were two sons.  And one day their father asked each to go out to the vineyard and work.  The first son said, NO. 

Maybe his NO meant, I don’t have time right now. Maybe it meant, I have other plans.

Maybe his NO meant I was hoping to take a nap.

I was going to hang out with my friends. Maybe it meant: The ways of the Lord are not fair!

But in the end, he repented and went to the vineyard and did what the father asked.

The second son said, YES, SIR. Very politely. Very respectfully. Possibly even sincerely.  And yet he didn’t go. He didn’t do what his father wanted.

The ways of the Lord are not fair.

Two sons. Two calls to action. And two very different reactions.

Which son are you?

Are you the one who says YES, maybe with the best of intentions, but somehow you just don’t do it? 

Or are you the one who says NO, perhaps you even make a fuss and say, “No way! I am not going to wash those dishes or take out that trash or clean the cat litter. Again!  It’s not fair! Why am I always the one who has to do it?  I washed the dishes last night! It’s just not fair.” But then… after you’re done fussing… the next thing you know you’re drying your hands and the dishes are done, the trash is out… or maybe you’ve trained the cat to change its own litter…

            Which son are you? 

            And what about those of us who say YES… We don’t mean to be hypocrites, do we?  Aren’t there always extenuating circumstances?  Isn’t it possible that the YES son really meant to do what his father told him?  Isn’t it possible he even set out immediately for the vineyard with the best of intentions but got distracted? Maybe he met a servant with news that the goats were loose and wandering in the street again or maybe there was a shepherd offering to round up the missing goats but he had needed his 1099 form signed and then a peddler came to the door selling GPS tracking devices for wandering goats so they’d never get lost again…  You see.  There are lots of reasons why the second son may have neglected his YES to the father.  Extenuating circumstances… right?

            By golly, if I were that second son, I might start thinking: The ways of the Lord are not fair! 

           So which one are you? 

            Well, I’ll tell you which one I am.  Like most of you, probably,  I’m both. How many times have I said, NO, but then had a change of heart and done what I was asked anyway? 

And how many times have I said YES but for some reason or another I just didn’t do it… Sadly, I couldn’t even begin to count.  A perfect example from my own life would be prayer.  How many times have I promised God that I would spend more time in prayer, if only He would help me with whatever trouble I was in? How many times have I promised to get up 30 minutes early to pray if only God will… fill in the blank!… Help me find my keys… Make the policeman not notice that I just ran a red light…   And in that moment of promise, that moment of desperation I am always very sincere. Yet, how quickly after the emergency passes do I begin to realize that my promises to God… My YES to God was unrealistic?  I can’t get up early to pray because I stayed up too late cleaning the cat litter and washing the dishes… Anyway, if I don’t get enough sleep, I’ll be cranky. And God doesn’t want me to be cranky.  And after all, I intended to do it!  I meant YES when I said it.  I really did!  I just… I just… I just didn’t do it. Does that ever happen to you?

So, truly brothers and sisters… I am both sons.

            So… what’s the big deal? We all do it. We all act like both… sometimes… Anyway, it’s pretty clear which one is the better son… The first one. The one who said NO.  Even the elders and the high priests tell Jesus that son at least did the father’s will. He at least went to the vineyard and worked.

And there is something to be said for that.  But, there is a risk in it too… saying NO can become a habit… Think of a two year old who has just learned a new word...  And we all know how hard habits can be to break.  They become part of us. They begin to shape us, to form our character and our conscience… We may start off saying NO simply as a way of asserting ourselves; you can’t boss me around. You can’t tell me what to do. I’m not your servant!  It’s our pride… Then one day –instead of repenting and going to the vineyard to work-- we just keep saying NO.  It’s become a way of life.

And, clearly there is also a risk in saying YES.  Late one Sunday night our next door neighbor called.  She was in the hospital. She felt anxious, alone. No family or friends visiting her. She was afraid. When my wife got off the phone she asked me if I would go visit this neighbor in the hospital. Without hesitating, I said, “YES. I’ll go tomorrow night.”  But then Monday night came and the washing machine was acting up and I had to fix it, and then it was dinner time and after that I was supposed to join a conference call to discuss a presentation. And then Tuesday night came and we had parent teacher conferences at school, so we didn’t get home until after 8pm. Then Wednesday night there was class at the seminary and then suddenly it was Friday and I realized I hadn’t thought of our neighbor for two days.  But by then she was already home.  I had meant to live me YES, but I didn’t do it.  And that too can become a way of life.  We say YES to so many things, good things, important things… constantly YES… but it’s unrealistic… and it can become a habit. A way of making ourselves look good and asserting our importance, by showing the world how busy we are…Look at all the important things I do (or plan to do)… And yet I forgot to make time for my neighbor who was sick, and lonely and afraid…

Which son are we supposed to be?

Well, there is one more son in today’s Gospel—a son we haven’t talked about yet—the one telling the story. Jesus is also the son of the Father.  And He truly is our model, the model for all sons and all daughters everywhere. When his Father calls Him to go to the vineyard not only does He say YES, but He lives YES. As Paul tells us in his letter to the Philippians (2:1-11): This Son empties himself, and takes on the form of a slave.  He submits completely to the will of the Father “… becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” That is our model, hanging there on that cross on your wall or in any church, that is our model --complete self-emptying to the will of God.  That is how we are called to live. That is the son we are called to be.  We are called to say YES, and we are called to live it.

God's YES to us hangs on that cross; it is a YES that died for our sins.   

Ask yourself:Are the ways of the Lord unfair?   

You bet they are.  Blessed be the ways of the Lord.