“…while the food was still in their mouths…”
--Psalm 78:30
Lately, I have taken to praying the psalms. I pick one and read it over and over again for a while, until I feel like I have prayed it out—I guess. Or it has prayed me out. Anyway, the other morning I opened my Bible looking for Psalm 88, which has been on my mind and in my heart for a while now. But instead, I accidentally stumbled into the middle of Psalm 78, one of the longer psalms. I was just about to turn the page and look for my intended, when I was caught by an image so startling that I was hooked, and without my knowing it, suddenly God was reeling me in.
Psalm 78 is a psalm of lessons from Israel’s history; recounting the Exodus and the desert wandering, it reminds us of God’s grace and God’s might, but also of Israel’s (and our own) obstinance. And what caught my eye was that image of Israel, testing God’s patience, by asking constantly for more. God was feeding them manna from Heaven, and yet still the people muttered against Him. Sure, God can call forth streams of water from a rock, and send bread from Heaven, but what about meat? Can He set a table for us right here in the desert? (cf. 78:19-20). Yet, when God sends them meat, more meat than they can possibly eat, even as the food is in their mouths, their cravings were still upon them. Instead of being grateful, and satisfied, their craving for something more, something different filled their hearts. Reading this I was reminded of my own cravings and appetites. How many times have I found myself, finishing a lovely dinner and already thinking about the next thing I want to eat. Not just another plate full of food, but already planning my next meal; even while food is in my mouth, I am already thinking about a snack, or starting to boil water for a cup of tea, and what about a slice of toast with honey! Hey, has anybody seen the box of Graham Crackers? Do we still have any ice-cream? Never mind. I think I’ll just make some popcorn…
Those cravings. That
constant hungering for something more. Something else… I relate to it. How often do I find myself blessed, given everything I need, ever wanted even... And still looking around, craving something more. One more pleasure, one more honor, one more word of praise... Last night as I was writing this reflection with my favorite fountain pen, I found myself wondering about fountain pens and suddenly I was shopping for a new pen... Even as I held in my hand one that I love, I was looking for a new one... Hmmm... The more things change, the more they stay the same. Or so they say...
And what was God’s reaction to Israel's carping and craving? According to the psalmist, with food still in their mouths and the cravings still in their heart, God’s wrath descended upon Israel, “slaughtering their strongest men…” (78:31). And, for some reason, as I read that, it struck me as full of meaning. Not just a statement of historic truth, but symbolic of something much more profound. What does it mean to have your strongest men destroyed? Paradoxically, I heard in this verse, not something fearful, but God’s grace. I heard in it an invitation. God takes away Israel’s strongest men, and by doing so He takes away their earthly power, their pride, their sense of security and independence. By doing this, God makes Israel even more dependent on Him. On God’s providence, and God’s grace.
So, I began my day with this unexpected scene from Psalm 78, planted in my heart. But, things really go interesting when we were watching Mass on-line and I heard the Gospel story about the mother of John and James asking Jesus to grant her sons a special place in His Kingdom, and their eagerness to drink the chalice that Jesus will drink (Mt. 20:20-28) . We also hear how the other disciples are upset about this request. And suddenly I realized: it’s the same story! Here they are, James and John and all the disciples not just being fed manna from Heaven or piles of quail, but living with Jesus every day, walking with God, being fed by His Holy presence daily. The Lord is right there with them—the bread of life, so to speak, still in their mouths—and yet they crave more. More glory. More honor. And it isn’t just James and John (or their mother). At one point all the disciples are arguing over who is most important. Craving more… More significance.
And how does Jesus respond? He takes away their security and power. He demands that they let go of, that they destroy, their strongest men; that they turn away from earthly glory and power and significance; lower themselves, become less, become like slaves. Their egos, their pride, their craving for significance in the eyes of the world, their strongest men, must be slaughtered.
But Jesus called them to him and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. It will not be so among you; but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be your slave; just as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.’ (Matthew 20:25-28)
The lesson of Lent is to learn to let go of our cravings, and to be rid of our ‘strong men,” to let ourselves rest in the Love of God. And be fed by the real bread of Heaven…
Thy will be done.
